yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
