how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
