hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
