I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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