Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
COCAINE IS GR8
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
