I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize