am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
