I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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