she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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