I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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