she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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