Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
My penis needs a shock collar
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
