On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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