I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
