if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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