if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
