I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
