We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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