About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
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