He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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