so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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