gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
You smell like stripper and shame
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
