What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
