If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
