it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize