There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
