he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
it was like eating out sand paper
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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