His apartment number was 69. I had to.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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