i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
My boob is missing a layer of skin
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
