If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
two words: eviction party
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
