I wish my penis had an off switch
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
