that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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