Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Life is so much better after having sex.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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