my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
