I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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