ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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