I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
we're so committed to being not committed
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
