I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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