he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
We have started to decorate penises.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
