guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
