No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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