okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
