I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
