He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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