Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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