I'm jealous of your bromance
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
He told me they were just razor bumps!
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
