"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
wow bdsm is so cute
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
