I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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