i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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