its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize