I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
