you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
