we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
