Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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