i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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