her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize