Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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