found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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