"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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