why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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