I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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