Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
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